New season, new male model obsession. This time the cutie catching our eye is Mitchell Slaggert who appears in Calvin Klein’s latest campaign (alongside Justin Bieber and Kendall Jenner). Quite some big names to compete with, but from his body of recent work *ahem*, it seems he’s up to the challenge.
Justin Bieber knows how to rack up those likes on his social media. And between these booty-flashing Instagram shots, and the fully nude leaks last year, I think the only part of Justin that we haven’t seen is his heart. Still though, you can’t wank over someone’s personality, so keep ’em coming, Bieb.
The always modest singer, captioned the snap “dat ass doe”. To be fair, he has a point. And we did once cuss him for having a pancake ass, so this is totes progress.
Y’all know Mr. Best is one of the faves here at C&C, so we make it our duty to keep you up-to-date every time he flashes the flesh. (Which, fortunately, is quite often). This time he’s getting starkers in Bali. As the mountains of the island weren’t a pretty enough view – imagine waking up to Calum clutching his crown jewels – that’s what we call the Best kinda breakfast…
Calum captioned the snap “red handed with white bits” – and we can only imagine what the hands were doing.
There’s plenty of National Holidays that we adore; Halloween, New Years, and not to mention Steak and Blowjob Day… And while you’re probably still celebrating the four day Easter weekend, not only is it Easter Sunday — it’s also National Bulge Appreciation Day (27th March). We thought you might’ve forgotten, so we gathered a load of GIFs, vids and pics to remind you… You’re welcome hunty!
Looks like Jesus’ resurrection isn’t the only one we’re rejoicing today…
Following the story that CBB star Jeremy McConnell put a hoe in hospital after taking his donkey dick, another former CBB contestant – ex-army lad David McIntosh – has come forward about his hospital-inducing exploits too. The former ex of Kelly Brook continues to search for relevance as he tells GuysLikeU that a girl needed a hip and knee replacement during a frisky threesome in Russia. Erm, how old WAS she?!
“With great flexibility must come great responsibility, I was to find this out the hard way.” MacIntosh says as though he’d rehearsed it in the mirror three or four times before. We can only imagine the interview was conducted over email, and proofed by a PR person, or a mildly-smarter friend.
“Anyway whilst visiting Russia many years back,” he continues, “I hooked up a with a couple of dames from a local traveling circus. Perlisa Flipova a champion gymnast and a Mongolian contortionist named John. By the sweet beard of Sinbad, she could do things in the sack that would make you wanna baptise the whole building.”
A couple of ‘dames’?! The sweet beard of Sinbad?! Whoever wrote this sounds like an A-Grade wanker, no offence.
“Anyway things got very cosy and one night we decided to try out an ancient sex position named the ‘Raj-a-shakahiem’ scholars believe the translation to mean: ‘The black Python that bends’ ( but that’s just a fictional guess.)” Maybe it was, the black Z-lister that lies?
“All that is known, is that it was banished from the kamasutra due to its deadly nature! Either way after a couple of hard hitting vodkas we were physically and mentally ready to attempt what others wouldn’t even dare fathom. However, the story turns sour from here on in, so I’ll save the bitter details.”
If there’s any truth to this drivel, it’s that he picked up a couple Russian street-walkers, attempted to turn on his “banter”, and they threw themselves under the wheels of a Nuclear poison truck, crippling themselves forever so as never to hear another second of this shite.
McIntosh goes to boast that he’s ready to get naked for a “reputable, yet raunchy, men’s magazine.” So QX Men, then? “I’m talking nasty, naughty and egotistically rude!” So he’s gonna sit on a dildo, and have a naff tranny shit on his chest, while he wanks over a photo of himself. Can’t wait, babs!
Besides, we’ve all seen the pics, we know you ain’t bending over like head cheerleader to pick up a pencil.
Last year, we reported on the actor baring his bits in Ketflix series Club de Cuervos, and he certainly drew some attention to that show. Though we’re not sure if anyone went on to watch it, or just wanked over the pic and then moved on. Any who, it seems that Ferreira doesn’t plan on getting dressed anytime soon (thankfully), and has stripped off for Mexican play 23 Centimeters. We’ve always been big supporters of the theatre.
We wonder where the title came from…
Notice how the force of his penis flopping around causes a wind that knocks the chick backward.
Paris Hilton’s ex and model River Viiperi has been on our radars for some time now, but became a gay fave when he had his nudes leaked last year, before posing on the cover of Attitude early in 2016. Now the hottie is stripping down to a skimpy pair of briefs, and hopping in a bath. And we all know what happens when white gets wet… And now, mistake us if we’re wrong but that tub definitely looks like it has space for two.
In recent allegations, a former security guard for Elton John claimed he was trying to feel more than the love tonight. According to TMZ, Jeffery Wenninger is filing a lawsuit against Elton for “attempt[ing] to grab his genitals”, when they were in a car together. Maybe he just thought it was the gear stick. Elton thinks he’s parked up, but the Mercs still moving and he’s got pre-cum on his fingers. To be fair though, groping a bloke’s knob is only an offence if the zipper’s closed. The pianist is being charged for sexual assault and sexual battery. We don’t even know what that second one is, but reckon it involves some kind of sex toy.
But in Elton’s defense, that is one FINE security guard. Who wouldn’t get a little floosy around him? Especially after a few Chardonnays. Think everyone needs to calm down, it’s not like he laced the man’s protein shake with rohypnol and he woke up being penetrated by a cucumber. And sorry, but ain’t you a BODYGUARD? If you can’t defend yourself from the Elton John, who probably swished a feather boa as the incident occurred, how you supposed to protect him from crazy-ass fans?
But evidently, Wenninger didn’t want Elton – or the sun – to go down on him. The lawsuit continues to accuse the 69 year-old singer/songwriter of saying “get your todger out” and to “say hello to Uncle Elton”. Next thing you know people will be suing Dame Edna for having a glance at the urinals.
Sorry, but that doesn’t sound like damning evidence. Who hasn’t told a straight lad to get their cock out? Half the time they oblige anyway. Furthermore, Elton twisted his nipples and said “you gorgeous thing, you”. Erm, that sounds like a compliment if you ask us.
What is it with guys playing games with their genitals lately? We’ve had penis-pong, dick baseball and now cock catch – which can also be played with Skittles, Maltesers or peanuts. Or with plenty of other canapés you may plan on serving. And we’re sure you could hire him for the evening.
Rumours surrounding John Travolta’s sexuality are as rife as Kevin Spacey’s. People may think the secrets stay within the bubble that is Tinsel Town, but there’s people that ain’t ready to play by those rules, enter Edward the male massage therapist who is telling Radar Online that he arranged a Grease up and “happy ending” for John Travolta – as well as another Hollywood actor.
The news has potential to rock whatever marriage is left with Travolta and his beard, as well as another famous couple, which Radar Online has only hinted that the man is a former Oscar contender. Edward’s agency is ‘Man 2 Man Massage’ (they really pushed the boat out on that one), and he describes it as “a roving gang of unlicensed massage therapists who specialize in ‘gay’ sexual favors. All the men who use the service realize that they are going to get a lot more than a massage!”
But where’s the substance to this claim? Well, Radar Online gave this guy a polygraph test – and he passed. Edward says, “since [the star] didn’t resist, the subject proceeded to masturbate him and then performed oral sex on him. I had gay sex with him and he was very comfortable with it.”
The incident took place in the Four Seasons Miami in 2011, and now gossip sites (and everybody else) are hedging their bets are to who it was. Tom Cruise seems to be one of the front-runners. Any other guesses?
**DISCLAIMER: Scathing rant ahead. Do not proceed without a sense of humour.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Our world is in turmoil. ISIS are bombing every major city in Europe, half of America actually buys into the dangerous douchebag that is Donald Trump, and a used sanitary towel would be front page news if it came from a Kardashian. But there’s one crisis that is flying under the mainstream’s radars, and that many of us encounter on a daily basis, yet refuse to act upon. The thirst of our gay community is real. Y’all wanna talk about the Californian drought? These bitches need to get in the fucking sea. And preferably drown. The only time a tsunami is ever welcomed; on the Gran Canaria Pride Facebook group. It’s more tragic than any suicide bombing. If only some of those desperate cunts would blow themselves up. Here’s a couple of gems:
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Just casually letting the 5,000+ members know that I’m gonna be in there for Pride, and am easy AF. Secure myself a lay just in case there aren’t hundreds of thousands of horny gay men when I get there. Where is your decorum? Half of these queens would have their ankles behind their ears, tugging their arse cheeks apart if social media would let them. And the thing is – men actually hit on them in the comments. Brazen flirting on a public forum is an uncouth hobby for people that can’t grasp the concept of social etiquette. Get a room. You know, like a gas chamber.
Listen, if you’ve got a good body and you put the hours in at the gym, then fair play to you, you should be proud of anything that you worked hard for. Nobody is crucifying anybody for a shameless selfie once in a Blue Moon. But it’s the endless rotisserie of near-naked desperation. Don’t you have anything to say? Where’s your voice? Queens wanna be mermaids so much, they acting like the sea witch stole it. (Really wanna be a mermaid? GO LIVE IN THE SEA).
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
The worst ones, are the ones that try to hide their thirst behind some other kind of notion; ‘Feeling blessed and grateful for all this love and light and opportunities, blah, blah, blah’; just post your fucking selfie. And preferably one where we can’t see your pubic hair. Great work on the abs, but your bush is giving me 90s Scary Spice nostalgia. Hack it off, and get in the fucking sea. Let’s not even tug at the tragic thread of the ‘armpit selfie’; you know the one, laying in bed, giant vagina under their arm, awkwardly strained pout. Real casual, hun.
Or some kind of hint that they’re single, to encourage an exchange of thirst in their inbox. Or “Have a good weekend”, as if another image of the same torso, in the same room, in the same position is benefiting me in any way shape or form. And then after sharing thousands of pictures that would imply they don’t own a thread of clothing, they then complain that no men want a relationship. No, they just don’t want one with you, hoe. Stop being basic and get in the fucking sea.
It’s like they need the validation more than oxygen. And you know who doesn’t need oxygen? Mermaids.
Why don’t you try telling yourself that you’re beautiful before begging it from a stranger; it’s painful. Even when you die and get reincarnated, you will struggle to achieve success in your next life because your soul is still dying of shame from your performance in this one.
And it’s not like gay “celebrities” are really helping the situation; bobsledder Simon Dunn is screaming for ‘likes’ as he parades around in his pants all over Instagram… not to mention inflicting the world with his shockingly bad YouTube tributes.
And all we want for Christmas, is for you to get in the fucking sea. We’re sure Mariah is back-slapping an assistant somewhere, just because of this. It’s one thing to flaunt your body when it comes naturally, and you’re good at it – but this is like the geek at school desperately trying to be accepted by the cool kids. Does she even go here?
And talking of horrific music videos, his are on par with Bryan Hawn; who is by far the worst. He needs an ocean all to himself. He might as well walk around with a sign that says “penetrate me”. It would be a different story if it was done tastefully, as opposed to writhing around on an unmade single bed, destroying modern pop music. SEA.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Gus Kenworthy used to be quite bad for it too, but he obviously took a dip in the sea and cooled off, so we like him now.
Does nobody respect themselves anymore? And it’s not about just showing off your body, it’s about why. Because flaunting your body is easier than using your brain? Because it’s a fast-track to an ego boost? Or because you’re just shameless prostitutes that are getting paid in ‘likes’?
Thirsty bitches, do the world a favour and get in the sea. Especially if you don’t know how to swim.
A new photo series, featuring plenty of hot silver foxes is, not only proving that men can indeed get better with age, but is also sticking up two fingers to ageism within the gay community. Charles Thomas Rogers says of his series:
“It started as an openness to photographing guys who were not traditionally considered as obvious photographic subjects. I’ve always been drawn to older men, even in my friendships, so it was pretty predictable that I’d choose them as subjects as well. I like to photograph a man who looks like he’s lived, and he can bring the story of his life, the hardships and triumphs, into my photos without my ever needing to know the specifics of his story. I devoted that section on my site to men over 50 because I don’t think they get to see themselves in photos enough.”
So Olly Murs is 20% gay, and now Made in Chelsea star Ollie Locke has announced that he is going gay for the summer. Lucky us! Can’t wait to see his face when the season’s change, the first day of Autumn when he turns back to straight, and he’s choking on a dick. Vomiting all over this guy’s knob.
Speaking to Star Magazine, the openly bisexual reality star said that he’s looking for a “lawyer aged 34 – 40.” Is he skint then? Imagine, got addicted to caviar and crackers, and got himself thousands of pounds in debt. Or maybe he’s just tight. Speaking of tight, Ollie also told the mag that he’s never actually boned a bloke before.
“I’ve never slept with a guy.” He confessed. Interpret as you will.
“This is the first time I’ve ever said it on television, but it’s done. I’ve never slept with a guy in my life. I think everyone kind of assumes that I have.” Well, to be fair, he does look like he wouldn’t be totally lost if a dick wound up in his hand.
“It’s the start of a new chapter!” Jeeves! Fetch the confetti and poppers!
We know what Ollie’s looking for, so the only question left really is if there’s any 40 year-old rich blokes that want a toffee-nosed temper tantrum for the summer? Oh the plus side, at least you know he’ll be tight! And just think, you could be waking up to this:
A recent survey asked the British public to rank the biggest cunts in the public eye. Fuck me, how much time you got? The results from SocialiteBitch.com, reveal that more people think the Hollyoaks pest Steph Davis is a bigger cunt than Donald Trump, Caitlyn Jenner and Katie Hopkins.
Steph Davis starred on this year’s Celebrity Big Brother, where she cheated on her model boyfriend Sam something with hung Irish traveller Jeremy McConnell. She went on to do nothing but whinge, pander to Jezza like a needy, orphaned puppy and leave clothes everywhere; including a pair of knickers that definitely should’ve been in the washing basket. Don’t get it twisted, we don’t agree with the witch hunt that took place, but if she wasn’t such an untidy cunt, she wouldn’t have got herself into that situation.
Since leaving the house, she’s broken up with Jeremy FOUR times and is now back with him; and it seems that even the people who didn’t mind her before are sick to the back teeth of her attention-seeking, taking to Twitter to vent their frustration.
The poll allowed readers to vote for ANY cunt in the world, and Steph topped it. Cardboard Caitlyn Jenner came in a close second, with tit-head Trump tallying third. Kanye cruised in at fourth, while Hopkins hopped in at fifth. Followed by all the Kardashians.
The irritating cunt is said to have snubbed the actual ceremony though, claiming the poll was “stupid” and “insensitive”. Bit like cheating on your boyfriend on national TV, then. Voters are now urging for Press to turn up unannounced an present her with the award – which is sculpted into a large pair of vaginal lips – at her undoubtedly messy home in St. Helens. Which the public expect she’ll accept and throw on the floor with the rest of her shit.
Unfortunately, this was materialised in light of April Fools, but we reckon it’s not that unrealistic, tbh.
Blue eyes. Thick lips. Inked. Now all we need is to be rejected by Vadim Ivanov and he’s exactly the type of guy we usually go for. The Russian model posed in his underwear, cavorting around a hotel – and correct us if we’re wrong, but that is a double bed he’s salontro’d on. I know what kind of room service I want.
What does it say about the world we live in where 20-something white boys want to look like Kardashians? James Holt is the second male to hit headlines for reportedly spending thousands of pounds to look like Kim K. I say “reportedly”, because in these pics it looks like he’s injecting his lips himself. We wanna see receipts, boo! Note to surgery lovers: DYI cosmetics are not the way to go. God knows where a 22 year-old gets £21,000 to spend on fillers. When I was 21, I could barely afford a ten pack of Marlboro Lights.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Now he’s on a liquid diet because he can’t eat. Well, ‘spose every cloud has a silver lining, but that’s not a diet we’re willing to try any time soon. But, if you wanna be a Kardashian, start with a new beautician because whoever is doing them eyebrows, secretly hates you.
James says, “When I get my lips done it initially makes me feel amazing, but after a few weeks it goes down. So I book an appointment to get more. There’s so much more I want to do. I want to look really plastic and fake.” Oh honey, we all wanna look plastic and fake, but there’s a line. That line is called Lesley Ash. There’s a difference between blowjob lips, and blowfish lips.
Check out the before snaps, anyone else getting a young Kylie Jenner vibe?
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
He’s even talking about having ribs removed to get the Kardashian hour-glass figure. I feel like that always sounds like a good idea in theory, but then you come out the operating theatre looking like a piece from a jigsaw puzzle.
But more, importantly, how wide are his genitals?!
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
It goes without saying that the selfie culture and pursuit for fame isn’t helping body dysmorphia.
We’ve all got one friend (at least), who moved to the Big Smoke from a mundane farm in Middlesex or Barking, or Notting-Wherever-the-fuck. They loved going out, because who doesn’t, and ended up getting a little too wrapped up in the disco and dealers, and bright lights and baggies. It happens. It’s textbook. You have to be incredibly strong to stay standing upright in a sea of temptation, especially when you’re being smashed by waves of parties and peer pressure. It very easy to lose your footing, take a tumble and before you know it, you don’t know if you’re going to drown or resurface gasping for air.
So naturally, at some point they pack up their shit, and move back home to their parents, in that awful town where everybody knows everybody’s business and there’s only one nightclub called something like URGE with £1.50 drinks before 11pm. People joke that they’d rather kill themselves than go back to the simple life, but remaining in London is effectively what they were doing. So you either accept that you’re not strong enough to be surrounded by clubbing and chemsex, and live a happier and healthier life somewhere less exciting, or you party until you die. Or – God forbid – seek some professional help.
It sounds melodramatic, doesn’t it? But it’s how it works. I’m from London, so I didn’t have the luxury of escaping to my parents at the weekends when I felt like I needed a break. I never considered myself to have a ‘problem’, but people really underestimate the impact of their surroundings. Very frequently if people don’t have something around them, they don’t crave it; after all, you can’t miss a party that isn’t happening. Their ‘addiction’ as it were, is almost a case of severe FOMO.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
So who can blame people for moving? It works. And it has nothing to do with ‘running away’, it’s just a logical solution to a problem that will continue to simmer – if not escalate – unless you change your environment. I didn’t move abroad for that reason, but a change of scenery was more than welcome. Spending time somewhere that isn’t as polluted with drugs, can give you the space – mentally and physically – to realise that your bad habits were environmental all along. It’s not true for everybody, but you’d be surprised how many it is.
Of course, coming back to London can be daunting as you don’t want to trip on the curb and land nose-down in a pile of mephedrone. But I’d been gone so long without it, that it was easy to adapt my relationships with people. If I knew that going drinking with a particular friend was going to end in eight baggies, a regrettable Grindr meet, and three days of not eating – then I’ll only be seeing that bitch for lunch. At least until I was sure I could say no, and it didn’t take as long (or was as hard) as one might think. And it’s nothing against those friends at all. I just had to take a step back from it – for myself. Though thankfully most of my friends seemed to grow in sync.
I’m not saying that you won’t ever see me at a rave or festival mollied up to my eyeballs; I mean, condoning full sobriety is simply boring, darling. But the fact is, when you move away from that vortex; you change as a person, you grow, you find yourself again. You’re able to take a step back, breathe, and gain some clarity. And I’m happy that I outgrew the London chem scene, it’s exactly what I wished for. I was so desperate to be in control at one point, I was even attending meetings at Antidote. Little did I know, a few months break does the trick just fine, though I was going out way less than usual at this point. Walking away from that lifestyle like:
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
When you’ve spent more time at chill outs than any place of work, you’re not in a place to judge anybody – hence why I don’t. Reformed drug-users that then look down on other people doing are the worst. “I”m a good boy now!” they exclaim, as if they’re entitled to a fucking OBE. Yeah, like you weren’t just begging a bump from me a few months ago. All cocky until that high horse buckles and throws them into a G-fuelled gangbang. Not to mention enough people have seen me gurning my face off, frantically pounding the keyboard of my laptop with my meph-claw, trying to write this blog on a Sunday afternoon – so don’t mistake me for one of those Ivory Tower Arseholes – this isn’t “look how far I’ve come”, it’s more “look how simple the solution can be”.
You can escape that bubble. Many people believe that they have an addiction to drugs, when really their issues are more to do with temptation. Remove the temptation, remove the problem. And it’s not something that makes you lesser than anyone else, because humans in general are weak when it comes to temptation. Why do you think it’s the Devil’s most successful weapon? So if you’re starting to feel that the party is over for you, don’t let certain situations – or even people – drag you back in. There’s plenty of people who still enjoy partying (or at least still believe they do), which is fine. But if you’re constantly on it, and constantly regretting it, it’s time to introduce some changes that will help you move on. In fact, that glimmer of distain from a lifestyle you once loved is the first sign that you can – and probably will – leave it behind.
It’s obviously easier said than done, and I’m not suggesting you move continents, but it’s doesn’t hurt to recognize who and what your triggers are, and gradually start to step away from them. Don’t go out with people who are a bad influence. Don’t go to parties where you know there’s drugs. Delete Grindr if it tempts you to sex parties. If moving away is a possibility, consider it. You can always come back.
It’s not going anywhere… But, while drugs and hedonism control your life, neither are you.
The latest issue of Loverboy has been making waves, with three different covers; Colby Keller, Violet Chahki, and Shawn Morales – but we’re checking out this super cool shoot from Venfield8. Where go-go dancer Seth Fornea is strutting down the streets of Beverly Hills butt naked. In an interview with both the photographer and the model, V8 reveals that Seth even had some construction workers checking out his runway walk – can you blame them?
Bloop! It’s that time again. And this time it’s British rugger Josh Carnley who’s been caught cock-handed. Charnley plays for the Wigan Warriors (like you care), and he’s certainly showing his weapon here. We don’t even know how to play rugby, but we’d be the hooker for him.
